Thursday, June 2, 2016
Clam Heart
This is a question I ask myself today.
We all need to be loved.
We all need to be appreciated.
How does this work?
Searching the inner sanctum, the heart, for me, reveals that if I feel I am being taken for granted causes the heart to 'clam up' like the proverbial clam that needs hot water or a sharp knife to open up.
What causes this to happen?
A day or so ago I had this happen to me. Someone presumed on my helpfulness and gave me some things to do for them. These things were not something hard or difficult, just common editing tasks that I do all the time. (Don't get too keen to send me yours yet)
I noticed that I felt my heart 'clam up' after reading the requests. There was no word of thanks, or please, or 'could you' here.
I thought "Get over it". Why do I expect to be asked nicely to do something (free) for someone? I did not offer free editing at someone's expectation. I am not someone's dogsbody.
After that happened, my day went from bad to worse.
I was clamming up at every roadblock. I refused to iron a shirt. I refused to send a file. I refused to make someone lunch (and I was starving).
This kind of behaviour is like a kid's behaviour, and I was behaving badly.
But, the clam remained closed across my heart.
I tried to watch a Christian TV show today but there was none around. Christians should just read their Bible, shouldn't they? Yes. Of course. But, in the mornings my eyes refuse to wake up and I struggle to read with my fogged up glasses. (Condition of getting older)
I can read well past midnight but first thing in the morning - struggle.
I did manage to get a Christian discussion online, one regarding our culture and world view and applying Christianity to our daily lives. That interested me and I watched for a while. It was rather interesting. The discussion was about a frozen heart and how to heal it. The movie Frozen was discussed briefly, uncovering the underlying themes there: frozen heart and how to heal it; finding the real problem and solution within self.
For me, this makes some kind of sense, but not totally. My heart remains a clam. I cannot agree that people should be expected to 'jump so high' on demand. I guess I am 'taking umbridge' as a dear friend used to put it. Truly at the end of the day, I believe that gratefulness and appreciation are a must for our humanity to flourish, or to function.
For me, I just could not function for about 4 hours after this clam up. I was stuck.
A simple, 'thank you' or 'sorry' or 'I appreciate you' is such a necessity for me. I believe it is a natural need that is not always available, or given.
What makes someone so important that good manners and ordinary love thy neighbour is unnecessary?
I make a pledge with myself and my creator that I will try to be more appreciative from today, to help others not to get a clam heart.
Even Jesus said, "I thank you Father..." before he broke bread.
In the meantime, who is suffering for this lack of courtesy - I am. What is the solution if no thanks are there? I talked to God (even that seemed stifled) and let time go by (sleep).
This morning, my beloved was extra kind to me, cooking up a delicious (fried) breakfast, which I ate heartily. He kissed me and I certainly am opening my clammy heart once again.
Love to hear how you cope?
We all need to be loved.
We all need to be appreciated.
How does this work?
Searching the inner sanctum, the heart, for me, reveals that if I feel I am being taken for granted causes the heart to 'clam up' like the proverbial clam that needs hot water or a sharp knife to open up.
What causes this to happen?
A day or so ago I had this happen to me. Someone presumed on my helpfulness and gave me some things to do for them. These things were not something hard or difficult, just common editing tasks that I do all the time. (Don't get too keen to send me yours yet)
I noticed that I felt my heart 'clam up' after reading the requests. There was no word of thanks, or please, or 'could you' here.
I thought "Get over it". Why do I expect to be asked nicely to do something (free) for someone? I did not offer free editing at someone's expectation. I am not someone's dogsbody.
After that happened, my day went from bad to worse.
I was clamming up at every roadblock. I refused to iron a shirt. I refused to send a file. I refused to make someone lunch (and I was starving).
This kind of behaviour is like a kid's behaviour, and I was behaving badly.
But, the clam remained closed across my heart.
I tried to watch a Christian TV show today but there was none around. Christians should just read their Bible, shouldn't they? Yes. Of course. But, in the mornings my eyes refuse to wake up and I struggle to read with my fogged up glasses. (Condition of getting older)
I can read well past midnight but first thing in the morning - struggle.
I did manage to get a Christian discussion online, one regarding our culture and world view and applying Christianity to our daily lives. That interested me and I watched for a while. It was rather interesting. The discussion was about a frozen heart and how to heal it. The movie Frozen was discussed briefly, uncovering the underlying themes there: frozen heart and how to heal it; finding the real problem and solution within self.
For me, this makes some kind of sense, but not totally. My heart remains a clam. I cannot agree that people should be expected to 'jump so high' on demand. I guess I am 'taking umbridge' as a dear friend used to put it. Truly at the end of the day, I believe that gratefulness and appreciation are a must for our humanity to flourish, or to function.
For me, I just could not function for about 4 hours after this clam up. I was stuck.
A simple, 'thank you' or 'sorry' or 'I appreciate you' is such a necessity for me. I believe it is a natural need that is not always available, or given.
What makes someone so important that good manners and ordinary love thy neighbour is unnecessary?
I make a pledge with myself and my creator that I will try to be more appreciative from today, to help others not to get a clam heart.
Even Jesus said, "I thank you Father..." before he broke bread.
In the meantime, who is suffering for this lack of courtesy - I am. What is the solution if no thanks are there? I talked to God (even that seemed stifled) and let time go by (sleep).
This morning, my beloved was extra kind to me, cooking up a delicious (fried) breakfast, which I ate heartily. He kissed me and I certainly am opening my clammy heart once again.
Love to hear how you cope?
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